Monday, 12 December 2011

LOOKING AHEAD TO THE NEW YEAR - Susan Jane Smith B.Sc


Harry's Home!
          I think that now I’ve done this for a few months I will change the title of my blogs for the New Year! 
          I was new to writing, publishing, social media and blogging.  Now I am gaining confidence and am taking my books seriously!  They were a change from counselling/psychotherapy so the transition has taken a while.
          Yes, I wrote “Harry’s Home! A Cat Compendium” because I love cats and donate £1 for each book sold to support cat rescue groups. It’s not on Kindle yet because of the colour pictures so order via www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk please.
          “ Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection” would make a great Christmas present for any couple intending to marry in the New Year!  Order via website by 15 December or see Kindle!
           What I will be doing over the next few months is blogging primarily about the information in my book “Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth”.  This is a book you can dip into and you do not have to read the whole thing unless it is relevant to you!  It is in paperback and on Kindle.
          Understanding incest and child sexual abuse might not seem like much of a Christmas present from me to you, but it would if you were a victim that had never gotten the emotional baggage from it sorted out.  My book is a solid starting place!  New Year is a good time to make changes.
          Statistically everyone does know someone who has been abused in some way.  The poem below is an extract from my book and was written many years ago by a client. She speaks for so many of the people with whom I worked when I was a therapist.   I still cry every time I read it:-

The Pain
Memories that I wish could be mine
A Daddy so caring, strong, so fine                   
A man to admire, worship, adore
A source of guidance, loving and sure
A safe love:  one that shelters and shields

A wise discipline he gently wields
But sadly these will never be true
The man who fathered me was you
The memories  that I can recall
Invaded my body, raped my soul
A childhood innocence and trust
Twisted and broken to serve your lust
The taste, the smell, the look in your eyes
The vicious words, the callous lies

My tears – your aim, my pain – your pleasure
What memories for you to treasure!
A little girl made to whimper and cower
Susan Jane Smith B.Sc
Was this your idea of masculine power?   
‘Evil’ the word, no other will do
For the years of hell you put me through
You hurt, despised, degraded and defiled
You had total control when I was a child
I kept your secret for so many years
It burdened my life, walled- up my tears   
So long the pain I’ve had to hide
Repressed, twisted, buried, denied
I let nobody close, no one could know
For fear the badness inside me would show
But soon I’ll be angry, bitter and sad
Grieve for the childhood that I never had
There’s no turning back, I want to be free
And find the woman I am meant to be
The path is so hard though, the road so long
I tremble and doubt, can I be so strong?
I follow the flame of life inside
It’s burned so low, but never quite died.”



4 comments:

Email List Broker said...

Happy Upcoming Christmas eve and New Year wishes in advance.

Avril said...

In prison I worked with many women who had been sexually abused and
I know how devastating such abuse is and how difficult the recovery. That you are writing about these traumatic events and offering help to those who often suffer in silence is a brilliant thing. It is a truly precious gift you offer. Thank you.

Rosalie Warren said...

That's a very moving post and I am glad, too, that you are writing books to help victims of abuse.

Marianne Wheelaghan said...

Writing takes courage but writing about abuse must take even more courage. Good luck with the blogging and the books!