Saturday, 2 November 2013

Electric Chocolate by Authors Electric - posted by Susan Price

           As I've mentioned before, this blog that you see is merely the facade, the face that Authors Electric present to the world. Behind it, on private posting boards and email, there is a continual chatter between members.
          So what is that talk about? Serious, writerly stuff about Alienation and Narrative Arcs? Discussion of sales figures and marketing ploys? I stumbled into the A-E Salon the other day, into the middle of a conversation. It was about the various browsers you can use to get onto the net - how some won't load some sites, others are very slow. One, in particular, causes 'meltdown.'
        Apt enough, for Electric Authors. I thought I'd let everyone in on this essential topic for our age.
        So plant your virtual glass firmly against the wall and listen...

Ruby Barnes
Ruby Barnes I never use [well known Brower which causes meltdown] because my laptop is made of chocolate.
 
Debbie Bennett And you haven't been tempted to maybe just nibble a letter off on occasion?

Ruby Barnes Only when it's been in the
Debbie Barnes
fridge. Chocolate's gotta be cold for me. And plain.


Debbie Bennett Green & Blacks. The really dark and bitter stuff. Refrigerated. Gorgeous. 

John Logan A computer made of chocolate, with a chocolate keyboard...inputting data through a big green Chocolate Mouse. You'd have to get broadband bills sent in chocolate, to be paid in full in
John Logan
chocolate. Could this be the kind of revolution Russell Brand was talking to Jeremy Paxman about on Newsnight? You should have kept it quiet and patented it,
Ruby,

 
Ruby Barnes The keyboard is made of Turkish Delight. 

Chris Longmuir What colour?
Chris Longmuir


Madwippitt Whippet Shouldn't that be a chocolate mousse not mouse?

Ruby Barnes Rose Turkish Delight for the keyboard. And the mouse is a Fry's Turkish Delight.

John Logan Yes, Mouse was a typo indeed. As a Scottish Highlander, I intended tae type...Moose...as in "There's a Moose...loose...about this hoose!"

Chris Longmuir I prefer the Rose Turkish Delight. I'm not overly fond of too much chocolate. I know, I'm weird.

Karen Bush
Madwippitt Whippet liquorice allsorts for the keys on the keyboard. wipes on the side for the sticky fingers ...

          And then I spoiled it all by saying I was going to put this on the blog. It was like the teacher walking into the room. They all stopped talking and got on with their work.
          Sorry about that. I was enjoying this vision of chocolate keyboards, with careful provision made for stickiness... The true, detailed writers' imagination showing there, I think.
          One of the best sessions I ever did in a primary school was when I invited the children to re-imagine the witch's gingerbread house. If you were a modern witch, I said, and had to build a house out of the goodies available today, how would you do it? What sweets or cakes would you use for roof-tiles, doorsteps, window-sills? The door itself, and the garden fence? The children responded with delight, and constructed any witch's dream home.
Susan Price

         But we didn't consider the interior. Inside, I now know, the witch is surfing the web on a chocolate computer with a turkish delight mousse.

          I could have called this blog An Irishman, A Scotsman and Three Englishwomen Walk Into an Internet Chat-Room ...

          But perhaps it's just as well I didn't...

          Find out more about all the Authors Electric here. 




     

9 comments:

Jan Needle said...

some of us are trying to lose weight, you bastards!

julia jones said...

What Sue didn't say is that she threatened to hex us all if we didn't get on and send contributions to her next nefarious project, Cooking the Books. Far too afeared to ask what form this curse might take -- but now I think I've guessed it -- it'll be A Healthy Diet. Quick, fellow AE-ers, get typing and send her your recipes, eye of newt and toe of frog, waddever ...

Catherine Czerkawska said...

That cheered me up on a very dreich day. But I've been making chocolate tarts (yum) and limoncello tiramisu (double yum) for a party tonight. So it just added to the general mood.

Lee said...

I might be tempted to publish in hardcover if the boards were slabs of milk chocolate.

Lydia Bennet said...

E-chocolate would be perfect for weight watchers, and migraineurs like myself, perhaps they could type out some chocolate Docs on those melting keyboards? Sweet!

Debbie said...

I'd left to do something useful before I knew this conversation was going to go public! :-)

madwippitt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
madwippitt said...

As virtual chocolate only puts virtual inches on the hips, at least you can have as much of it as you like. Off now to work it off with a quick pedal on my virtual exercise bike ...

Katherine Roberts said...

Green & Blacks for me please!