tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post2856593070940532707..comments2024-03-17T11:17:53.826+00:00Comments on Authors Electric: Everything in its place by Bill KirtonKatherine Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17196712319655603442noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-5481005042842498012017-08-09T09:54:57.559+01:002017-08-09T09:54:57.559+01:00Thanks, Umberto. I love your gloss on the lyrics o...Thanks, Umberto. I love your gloss on the lyrics of (I can't get no) Satisfaction - the parentheses suggesting that even the lyricist was aware of its grammatical shortcomings. And, in my head, I could just hear Jagger snarling:<br /><br />'I can't get no-o<br />Satisfac-shuh-un,<br />And no wonde-er<br />With that syntax.<br />And I tried...' (etc.)<br />Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16345949773423764808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-73476893132020713492017-08-09T09:09:56.548+01:002017-08-09T09:09:56.548+01:00The three rules of sentence structure are position...The three rules of sentence structure are position, position, position. Your game works well with song lyrics too. Like, I can't get any satisfaction (and no wonder with that syntax). Nora Ephron never failed to hit the right keys. I wish she were still with us, making her magic. Thanks for a fun post!Umberto Tosihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04939504157464234443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-63241745840815487502017-08-08T16:35:22.839+01:002017-08-08T16:35:22.839+01:00Thanks Reb. Once one gets started on this sort of ...Thanks Reb. Once one gets started on this sort of analysis, it's great fun. I love the Wilde and your reworking of it. It made me start moving its elements round, too but, to coin a phrase, I couldn't get no satisfaction.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16345949773423764808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-74799605438827501392017-08-08T15:16:09.163+01:002017-08-08T15:16:09.163+01:00Beautifully done, Bill. It got me to tinkering wit...Beautifully done, Bill. It got me to tinkering with Oscar Wilde's classic epigram: 'A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more could one want?'<br /><br />What if this were changed to: What more could one want from a pleasure than this? A cigarette doesn't leave one satisfied, although it is exquisite."<br /><br />Wilde knew what was he doing, eh?glitter noirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11728649916344336118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-24513492786562025922017-08-08T09:52:39.672+01:002017-08-08T09:52:39.672+01:00Thanks, Fran. Sorry for any offence caused (and ge...Thanks, Fran. Sorry for any offence caused (and genuinely so, as opposed to the political and Press 'apologies' offered with such breathtaking insincerity). Plenty of my posts demonstrate that I'm not a believer but I do respect the faiths of those who are.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16345949773423764808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-78246847735623089072017-08-07T16:29:02.848+01:002017-08-07T16:29:02.848+01:00. . . and so probably would I for missing the capi.... . . and so probably would I for missing the capital letter for Islamic!Fran Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13497526684591168192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-81370280186349713152017-08-07T16:27:54.883+01:002017-08-07T16:27:54.883+01:00I enjoyed the creative writing lesson, Bill; less ...I enjoyed the creative writing lesson, Bill; less so the sideswipe at Christianity. Luckily, Christians have a sense of humour and are good at/used to batting the jokes away. If it had been an islamic reference, you might have had to go into hiding.Fran Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13497526684591168192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-67863829790513193882017-08-07T14:20:27.173+01:002017-08-07T14:20:27.173+01:00Thanks Sandra - great to hear you using the word &...Thanks Sandra - great to hear you using the word 'rhythm'. I've bored readers here before by going on about it. I think it's much neglected in 'advice to young writers' articles and workshops and, without it, prose (as well as poetry) is not nearly as effective.<br /><br />Thanks, Dennis. Your sentence is an excellent example of what I was getting at - it's beautifully turned and any further manipulation of it would undermine its impact. And I know what you mean about gratitude - not from a novelist but from pupils and students who, when one encourages them to try some restructuring, suddenly 'get it' as if they've been taught some excellent magic trick.Bill Kirtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16345949773423764808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-28832055124800796462017-08-07T12:52:06.937+01:002017-08-07T12:52:06.937+01:00Bill, how I value your blogs. This is exactly the ...Bill, how I value your blogs. This is exactly the profound, insightful interrogation of language in action that I would expect from you, and which I love. I too spend a lot of time weighing up the sentences I write because order and balance, as well as rhythm, can turn everyday statements into epigrams. I'm at last finishing my oft-delayed Coleridge novel because someone actually wants to publish it and in it I make much play throughout the story with a simple sentence, the actual provenance of which is unknown though I'm convinced I know who the author is. It's about Kubla Khan and whoever wrote it seems pretty out of sorts with STC. 'The writer of the above had much better keep his sleeping thoughts to himself, because they are, if anything, worse than his waking ones.' Look at the superb balance, the rhythmic unity, the dry sardonic tone perfectly caught in these few simple words. It's merely a main clause and an adjectival cause of cause or reason, just as I used to teach so many years ago, but it tells us so much.<br />Interestingly, I'm applying much the same as your analysis of that superb kid's sentence to the prose of a mentoree's novel in progress - and, would you believe it, she's grateful! Dennis Hamleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15781139870037634374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429560125838989988.post-56230662887188955912017-08-07T08:59:07.186+01:002017-08-07T08:59:07.186+01:00Oh yes, Bill! I love doing this - and in picture b...Oh yes, Bill! I love doing this - and in picture books it's crucial because the rhythm is a key element.sandra hornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06768052256181408116noreply@blogger.com