Vote for Me - a poem for the election - Sarah Nicholson

As it is the day of the general election in the UK. I've written a lighthearted poem of outlandish promises candidates might claim they will deliver if elected.

It is complete nonsense, any policies I've included are completely spurious and any resemblance to actual politicians is completely unintentional.

Here are your five candidates - who would you vote for?

Vote for me, vote for me

I promise chocolate cake for tea,

Overflowing lemonade

All is free, expenses paid.

Vote for me and you will see

The future’s bright

We’ve got it made.

 

“Cast your vote for me” she says

“Just put a cross beside my name

Not all the parties are the same

We all find scapegoats we can blame.

My policies? Oh, this and that

Tax cuts pulled out of my magic hat

How could you not vote for that?”

A vote for me will save the world

I’ll make the sun shine every day*

(*Except for Christmas - we’ll have snow)

The world will be a happy place

Here, have a sticker, with a smiley face. 😊

 

The other lot don’t have a clue

Only I’ll be steadfast, strong and true.

My plans are costed to the penny

I’ll work for one, for all, for many.

I’ll be alert from dusk til dawn

And give everyone a unicorn.

Don’t judge me on my past discretions,

misdemeanours and great gaffs

I’ve tuned a leaf, learned my lesson

I’ll hold my surgery in the local caff.

I’ll listen with such great compassion

Nod my head, look straight at you,

As I address your woes and worries

Take on board your point of view.

I’ll be your mate, man of the people

I’ll impress you with my earthiness

Don’t judge me on my past discretions

Vote for me, I’ll sort the mess.