Fish Scales, Eggs and Puddings: it must be the Silly Season, according to Griselda Heppel

The Silly Season is upon us. Indeed, some might say it began early this year... but that’s enough about the state of the UK government. 

Since the heatwave has filled my mind with thistledown, this will be a post all about trivia. Verbal trivia, that is. Specifically, some of the proverbial metaphors we pepper our speech with every day (see what I did there?). 

Recently, when describing a sudden realisation I’d had to a friend, I used the phrase, ‘the scales fell from my eyes.’ I like that image. My friend knew exactly what I meant. 

Fish scales. Odd to have them covering your eyes.
Photo by Engin Akyurt: https://www.pexels.com/photo/ close-up-of-fish-scales-with-natural-texture-33654489/

It was only, some time later, it occurred to me to wonder… what did I mean? Scales? Eyes? Why would there be scales on my eyes in the first place, and what kind of scales? Fish scales? Piano scales? A weighing machine? 

These kitchen scales would give 'heavy-eyed' a whole
new meaning.
Photo by Tuğçe Açıkyürek: https://www.pexels.com/ photo/precise-analog-scales-15852124/

Google revealed that the phrase originates from the Bible (Acts 9:18 to be precise). Saul (later St Paul), while on the way to Damascus to beat up the Christians, is struck blind by God. Three days later, thanks to the healing touch of disciple Ananias, ‘something like scales fell from his eyes, and his sight was restored.’ 

A dramatic moment, clearly conveyed by the sound of the words, if not the meaning, which seems to have eluded Biblical scholars ever since. The nearest explanation they can give is that it was as if a film covering Saul’s eyes had suddenly disappeared, or that till that moment he’d been looking through the semi-transparent scales of a fish (why anyone would adopt that rather unusual and not very effective type of sunshades is unclear). 

Ananias restoring the sight of St Paul, by Pietro da Cortona.
By Anthony M. from Rome, Italy - CC BY 2.0,
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2986580

Anyway, now I know. 

It made me think of other sayings in popular use whose origins are obscure. ‘Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs,’ for one. Again, a terrific image… but why would you? Why would she even want to suck eggs? Turns out that this proverbial phrase for trying to educate someone in an area they know well already (see also the sometimes rather unfair term, ‘mansplaining’) originates from pre-good-dentistry times, when the easiest way for toothless old people to get protein was to pierce an egg with a pin and suck out the contents. 

Right, I’m on fire now (not looking that one up). Here’s a saying that people frequently get wrong. A couple of days ago, someone being interviewed on BBC Radio 4 said, ‘the proof is in the pudding.’ No! No it’s not! What nugget of wisdom would that give? You might as well say, ‘the proof is in the teapot/cat basket/radio set.’ The correct adage is, ‘the proof of the pudding is in the eating,’ meaning you will know how well your project/plan turns out by the final result. 

A beautiful cover. Why can't I judge the book inside by it?

And now for a piece of supposedly sage advice that people use correctly, but to me makes no sense at all. 

As a writer, and one time editor in a publishing company, I find it extremely irritating when somebody solemnly intones, ‘never judge a book by its cover.’ Yeah, because all publishers do their best to give their books rubbish covers? When, on the contrary, a great deal of effort and expertise are invested so that the jacket grabs the eye, enticing people to open the book and read it? Are we saying that the more attractive a book’s cover, the poorer its contents… or that publishers, despite their best attempts, are incapable of creating good covers, and that a mediocre one is sure proof of a good book? 

Let me know any phrases you have issue with. Surely I can’t be the only one. 

Meanwhile, in this holiday travel season, I leave you with this profound observation made by the incomparable Flanders and Swann: 

The musicians and comedy duo Michael Flanders and
Donald Swann in 1966. By Photograph by Bill Doll and Company, a New York-based publicity agency -
This is a retouched picture, which means that it has been digitally altered from its original version. The original can be viewed here: Michael Flanders and Donald Swann 1966.JPG: . Modifications made by Blz 2049., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=116274585

'If God had intended us to fly, he would never have given us the railways.’

Find out more about Griselda Heppel here:

www.griseldaheppel.com  

https://griseldaheppel.wordpress.com/

and her children's books:

Ante's Inferno 

The Tragickall History of Henry Fowst

and

The Fall of a Sparrow