My Wild & Wanton, Wicked Double Demon Crushing Nights: Part 1--by Reb MacRath
Two demons have bugged me through all of my days. 1) CAN'T-ITIS is the demon of all our many Can'ts: I can't live like a king without working at a conventional job...I can't find a find a hot starlet by Christmas...I can't write a bestselling novel...I can't afford to travel all year-round on trains, first class... 2) TOO-TOO is the demon of all our many Too's: I'm too old...I'm too slow...I'm too technically challenged...I'm too poor...I'm too unconnected... Alone, each one is hell on earth. But in the autumn of my life I found that Can't-Itis and Too-Too had joined. And the new odds against me seemed hopeless. Speed forward before we all burst into tears. I was wandering the Seattle streets, muttering over and over, "I can't do that! I can't do this! I'm too-too and I always will be!"--when I took out the flip phone that symbolized my entire sad, sorry existence. And I bawled in anguish: ...