Authors Electric

As I shall be in hospital on the 17th (again!) I didn't feel up to a long post, so I thought I would simply paste a few poems in.  Inside the Powder Room, at last.  You’re in, through the wedged- open door, gritting your teeth, minding the pees and queues.   And then, suddenly, they don’t matter -- not any more. It’s one of those Ladies’ moments. The snake of people inside is as out of order as the plumbing, curled in on itself like intestines. You start by talking floor area, cubicles, urinals, male architects.   You could be any vintage, from geezer bird to hot flush to blue rinse.   As you wait, the temperature rises.   Now you’re privy to period pains, polyps, Prozac, uncooperative partners, ungrateful progeny, quashed ambitions, quick abortions, quiet affairs -   but no hot air, no soft soap, no flannel – you’re dishing your own dirt, relieving yourselves of skeletons you won’t be revealing outside.   The te...

If you're an indie-minded author, you're probably used to discovering how to do stuff for yourself. If you want writing or publishing advice, you can read a blog (like this one), or download an ebook that promises to make you into a million-dollar bestseller in three days... and hopefully you're wise enough to know the difference. But there is a whole world of free advice out there that can help a writer survive day to day - because it's not all about dreaming up stories, you know. Here are three random things I learnt from the internet this year, all of which have saved me money and/or time, and possibly helped save the planet, too. 1. How to get a fly out of your ear. Last summer (which was gloriously sunny and warm, remember?), I went cycling one evening and returned home with a buzzing noise in one of my ears. At first I thought a fly had got tangled in my hair and tried to brush it away. Yet the buzzing persisted, on and off, throughout the evening, at whic...