Monday, 12 March 2012

WEDDING BELLS? - Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.


Take Your MOT Before the Plunge!

          A pre-marital ‘MOT’ for couples to take before formally tying the knot has been devised to help reduce soaring divorce rates.  This book is available internationally on Kindle e-book readers via Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk, et al.
It is also available in paperback via www.EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk.   Its author, Sue Smith, believes that a ‘relationship inspection’ prior to marriage is now all the more crucial following legal rulings on big-money divorce settlements.

          High profile cases in which ex husbands have been forced to pay huge sums to their former wives could discourage people from marrying. But the key, says Sue, is avoiding in the first place some of the pitfalls which can lead to divorce.
          “If couples talked to each other more effectively about their relationship before marrying, then it might help reduce divorce rates,” says Sue, who has based the ‘MOT’ on her experience as a Divorce Mediator and Psychotherapist.  “I have spent 20 years and over 8,000 hours as a professional counsellor listening to hundreds of people who are experiencing the pain and problems of failing relationships. This has given me an insight into the most common problems.” 
Pre-Marital MOT
          Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection deals with all the issues that can cause problems in relationships, such as sex, money and parenting, as well as raising less obvious ones, like attitudes towards housework and holidays, pets and paying the bills. It also includes questionnaires on personal qualities and character traits and fun tests for both partners to answer – all designed to help couples put their relationship under the spotlight!

          “Spring and summer are traditionally the most popular times for weddings,” says Sue, also a former Professional Practice Consultant for the UK College of Family Mediation. “But too much emphasis is put on the ceremony and reception, rather than on what it means for your life in the future. It’s very easy to get caught up with the romance of it all, and forget about what really matters.

          "Do not live together, conceive children together or set your wedding date until you have talked to each other about the contents of this MOT!  You need to agree on all sorts of matters or have found a way to resolve any issues so you are truly committed to the relationship prior to the marriage ceremony.”
          The problem, says Sue, is that many people tend to assume their partner sees life the way they do and so will share their pattern of behaviour.  Sadly, not true! Seemingly trivial things, like the ritual of Sunday lunch at a set time, or sleeping with the bedroom window open, can undermine relationships if expectations are unacceptably different.  TALK NOW!



          Questions?  Contact Susan Jane Smith B.Sc. (retired Psychotherapist):

Susan@EmotionalHealthForEmotionalWealth.co.uk


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