Double Dutching

It’s that post-Christmas period and as I sit on my sick-bed suffering from a bout of seasonal tonsilitis (or should that be TINSEListis?), one eye on Call the Midwife and docu-telly provoking fancy hotel envy, I reflect on the past month.

 

In my previous instalment of Author’s Electric, I was just about to go to Amsterdam, having got Christmas all wrapped up, along with all my last minute jobs preceding the launch of my fourth book and debut novel. And I had promised to share the aftermath of both. So firstly, I thought I’d share with you some fun facts about ‘going Dutch’.

 

You probably don’t know, but I spent a good deal of time in Holland when I was younger and I still understand and speak reasonable Dutch. I am particularly proud of my pronunciation, which is quite tricky for an English person. The last time I was in Amsterdam was relatively recent, when I took my son there in March 2019 for his 18^th birthday. We got do pack in some amazing things, and I took him to some old haunts, as before that I hadn’t been since the mid-90s. This time I went with my husband, and although we flew, we reminisced about our last 9 hour boat trip where we took turns with the only and worst sea-sickness I have ever had. It inspired an exaggerated version in my new book – but more of that later. But going in November, the shops smelled of St Nicholas and I remembered that the Dutch have TWO Christmases! 

 

So what do the Dutch do in the Christmas season? Well, in November, the tradition is that St Nicholas, St. Nicholas (Sinterklaas in Dutch), a 4th century bishop, appears on the night of December 5-6 from his homeland of Spain, loaded with gifts for Dutch children and accompanied by his page, Zwarte Piet (Black Peter). I have seen him arrive in late November with Piet (who hands out coal to naughty children) as he travels up the canal into central Amsterdam to great ceremony and huge crowds, but I am reliably informed that Zwarte Piet is no longer allowed due to his dubious origins as a possible slave and I am thankful that this part of the custom has been dropped. However, the tradition of giving gifts on this day is still alive and well in most Dutch homes. The Dutch leave their shoes out which are filled with gifts, but a fun part of the tradition is that the gifts are small and prankish, appropriate for the receiver and accompanied by a poem which teases them. So if you are a person who has an unusual hobby or interest, beware. Thankfully the giver is also anonymous, although it doesn’t usually take much to guess who penned the poems which range from witty to sometimes quite merciless. There are often quite a few gifts too, so I conclude that the Dutch must have rather big feet. Then again, many of them reach nearly seven feet tall, so it’s not improbable. Following St Nicholas, the Dutch also celebrate Christmas – talk about double Dutch! What I like about The Netherlands at this time of year, though, is the spicy smell of Kruidnoten and Speculaas which are like little biscuits, and all the marzipan treats. I also brought back another favourite snack – chocoladehagelslag. No, I ddn’t just lean on the keyboard; these come in boxes and the name means ‘chocolate hail’. They are like our ‘hundreds and thousands’, but really much more chocolatey and you put them on your toast for breakfast. For my own Christmas, I was given a Pofferje pan, a pan which makes tiny puffy pancakes which you then cover in icing sugar. If you do visit, I recommend these snacks and also going off the tourist trail and experiencing some of the smaller Dutch pubs – a clue is it will be dark and tiny, and the menu is only in Dutch – although everyone will translate for you. Three larger good pubs are Lokaal ‘t Loosje, Gollem, and Hans en Grietje. All of these sell a variety of beers, have a good atmosphere and also serve Croquettes, a bit like an upmarket Findus crispy pancake containing meat or veg in a tasty sauce. Yum! Most people know the Major museums to visit, but I most recommend the Museum Van Loon, a gem of a 17^th Century house. The other great thing about the winter is it is properly cold, and it snowed when we were there! So do give this city a try if you get the chance. The Dutch are very friendly, but contrary to their ‘free and easy’ reputation, I find that they are also absolute sticklers for rules and traditions which makes for an interesting juxtaposition. Three kisses on alternate cheeks to greet someone; arrive as a guest with flowers; waggle you hand in an oscillating motion beside your ear and say ‘Lekker’ if you enjoy your food; sit in a circle with coffee and cake and make  conversation before midday for a birthday, always turn your broom cupboard or the room you can’t turn around in into the toilet, (the WC really IS a closet!); carry as much as possible including flowers on your bike; always leave the curtains open so people can see in as they walk past; fill your house with plants, and many other things which seem to be customary… OK, I’m teasing a bit. We had a lovely meal and catch up with a friend I have not seen for decades, and it was much more relaxed. 

 

The other BIG EVENT before the close of the year was the launch of my book, Burnt Lungs and Bitter Sweets, a tragi-comedy about four punk friends and their mis-adventures through four decades. Two of the characters go to Amsterdam, and experience sea sickness, although their illness is also affected by 'other' substances... But one incident which is absolutely true is that I did lock my husband (who was at that time my friend) out of our cabin where he froze all night.  launch event at Dial Lane Books was a great success so thanks once again to them, Georgy Jamieson, Urban Pigs Press, and all the sponsors, Orwell Lady, Two Sister Arts Centre, Colourplan Printers and Geek Retreat Café. If you want a copy, Dial Lane and I have a few left with the free gift and book mark, and I will get in to sign the rest soon. It’s also on Amazon. If you do read it, please don't forget to give it a review.

So, I leave 2024 on a high note, despite the illness, and say Happy New Year to you – make it your own!

 

Virginia. x