Authors Electric

Greetings from one plague-ridden country to the rest of the plague-ridden world (and did I, in any of my dystopian fantasies, imagine I would be, in the Spring of 2020, writing a sentence like that for real? Did any of us?) It seems that there may be a vaccine by September or October, but I'm sure you don't want anything to do with nasty Big Pharma, so here are some alternative suggestions. They are very old, so obviously must be valid. The gentlest one is drinking vinegar - cheap and simple, although it might attack your tooth enamel, and give you serious indigestion, but you have to be prepared to suffer in order to be cured. Rotting teeth were trendy once - maybe that might return? After that, though, my prescription might get a little more expensive. You could try arsenic or mercury. These might be difficult to find at your local pharmacy, but I have access to the Dark Web, and I know of a nice Russian gentleman, ex-KGB, who might provide, but at a price.  Chopped sn...

The Wolf's Footprint Of all the books I've republished as ebooks and POD paperbacks, my best seller, by a long way, is The Wolf's Footprint. I have no idea why but month after month it outsells all my other titles by 100 copies and more. Since it's written for the 8-10 age-group, I decided that it would make sense to re-publish all my other titles that were published for that age-group. I've just added another: A Feasting of Trolls. A Feasting of Trolls by Susan Price A Feasting of Trolls was originally published by A&C Black in 1990. They commissioned it for their Comets series and since I had to come up with a story in a short time I turned, as usual, to folklore. There are several old legends about supernatural home-invasions at Christmas or the New Year and I took bits I liked from different ones to make an original story. It has a little of 'The New Year Visitors,' a pinch of 'King of Cats ,' a smattering of tales about mo...

This odd little image is of a fake snake artfully placed, by me, on the remains of one of last year's hanging baskets, in the hope that it will scare off marauding and destructive magpies. From my kitchen window, I've been watching them swoop down and make off with the last of my little over-wintering plants plus chunks of the container, so having had enough, I went online and discovered this amusing deterrent - irresistable, at least for me, so I walked up to our local toyshop and asked to be shown some fake snakes (I chose the most aggressive and poisonous-looking one). But of course, being in one of my writing personae a picture book author, the two words grabbed me, and I fell instantly in love. 'Fake' rhymes with SO many words, and I began playing. How about a 'fake cake', made from pink and green kitchen sponges topped with white emulsion? A 'fake hake' made of silvery fabric and caught in a net could hang from my ceiling. A 'fake lake'? ...

Remember Ossian? Well, recently there's a new poet on the block. This one is called Seoras. Some while ago I came across this which he wrote on a subject which is close to many writers hearts and I thought it might just give folks a laugh...  A writer's earnest plea. Sock Puppets and Trolls are a pest With their one star reviews and the rest Why can't they be true In their words of review And realise their game's not a jest? As writers we do what we can To entertain each hard won fan And we know that our style Though in vogue for a while Is only a flash in the pan So give us a break, Puppets, do And Trolls, write reviews that are true Be honest and fair When reviewing our ware, 'Cos we give of our best, unlike you And so, now to you, clever Dick To respond to this wee Limerick Try to be smart Using words as an art And prove that you're not dim or thick Writing reviews is addictive I'm not being bad or vindictive... (over to yo...

Trolls are just jealous ... (Pic: John Bauer, 1915)           Much has been said about reviews, both positive and negative, and the horror of trolls and  spiteful authors out to promote themselves while simultaneously dissing your own work ... But recently I had a response to one of my books which made me gasp in disbelief. It was the cruelest review I've ever received - and without a single word being written           As you all know, Amazon enables you to follow your sales on a daily, weekly and monthly basis: and also to see whether any have been returned for a refund by disgruntled customers. Fair enough - tastes differ, and not everyone will like your work.           But what really took my breath away was that the book which was returned for refund was on a free promo at the time . Wow. The person could just have deleted it: a...

It’s out! My latest poetry collection ALL THAT LIVES , CSI:Poetry of sex, death and pathology, is now on Kindle as an indie, only about £2, as well as in paperback from Red Squirrel Press. So if you fancy dipping a toe into poetry, check out the book, though strangely there is no Amazon category for ‘science poetry about the dying brain, together with funny erotic poetry about post-divorce dating’. Yes there’s dementia and the science of dying, but also humour and joy (much more of that, later!). It follows years of research working closely with neuroscientists, anatomists and pathologists, in various fascinating Writer in Residence posts. (US link here .) I’ve also put my much-acclaimed related poetry installation SLICING THE BRAIN, an AV animated text film exhibited across Europe, onto youtube, in particular so that readers of the book can see the innovative dwindling sequence THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING BRAIN in action. See it here , but in full screen and highest re...