Authors Electric

Misnomers (i.e. a name incorrectly or unsuitably applied) can make me amused, creative, irritated or angry, depending on context. They often arise quite innocently because something was named long before its correct nature was known, or because an earlier form of something has since been replaced by something to which the name no longer really applies. Some historical misnomers of this type include  tinfoil  (now aluminium), pencil lead  (now graphite), and  MOT test  (the UK's Ministry of Transport no longer exists). Moving into the 21st century, we have the  smartphone -  not just a phone any more, and arguably only as smart as whoever is using it... until we get  Artificial Intelligence (AI),  of course, another potential misnomer since intelligence surely applies to organic brains and not to a vast store of digital knowledge programmed by soaking up everything those brains have produced? A smartphone these days is also a camera, satn...

This quote from the classic prison drama The Shawshank Redemption has been running through my head during lockdown. Even if you haven't watched the film or read the Stephen King novella it's based on, you'll probably understand why. Here's a short reminder: Of course, the majority of us have not been locked up in a high-security prison for another man's crime, merely locked down in our own homes, some of us rather more severely than others. I count myself lucky I don't appear on any of the vulnerable lists, however from that first day back in March, when I stood knee deep in the freezing sea and imagined wading out to the horizon to escape the sudden and unexpected restrictions on my freedom, I've felt a little of what I imagine an innocent prisoner like Andy Dufresne must feel. "Get busy living or get busy dying" Andy says, the night before he disappears. His best friend in prison is worried about him, thinking this means he's come t...

It seems professional authors are an increasingly endangered species these days. The latest ALCS survey shows average incomes down by 42% in real terms since the first ALCS earnings survey in 2005. A writing income is never steady, which means these surveys can only provide a snapshot of authors' earnings, and for that reason I tend not to do them. It's like betting on the horses... you lose a bit, then you lose a bit more, and - goddammit - you lose again , and then you might win big-time, which makes it all worthwhile. Or I imagine it does. I don't squander my royalties on the horses these days (I stopped after my big win at Chepstow on a 40-1 long shot at £1 each way - no point tempting fate.) Assuming you're all back by now from that rather depressing earnings survey, let's forget about money for a few paragraphs, shall we? Let's pretend we are all living in Elfland, or whatever fantasy world takes your fancy, where all authors - no matter how humble o...

c/o Fred Goldstein | Dreamstime Stock Photos It’s that time of year again, when pumpkins are carved out, horror films dominate the TV schedules, and kids don Frankenstein masks and flit around their neighbourhoods asking for sweets. Well, technically speaking, I am of course a few days late, but my AE slot falls on the second of the month, which means that – curses! – the coveted Halloween spot will never be mine. Neither will that of April Fool’s Day, which I miss out on by just one day. That particular splendid opportunity goes to my esteemed colleague, Valerie Laws . Ah, well: better late than never, I suppose. Ghosts. Whether you believe in them or not, they continue to haunt us. They have, so far, proved remarkably resistant to the silver bullet of science. You can’t get away from them; you might not have seen a ghost, but ask around in your social circle and the chances are that at least one person will claim that they have. Even if you never encounter a spook in the re...

Picture credit: laobc, via openclipart.org If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that it just doesn’t do to rely too much on technology. Just when you get to that point at which everything depends on a gadget, invention or app, what happens? Why, the blasted thing fails to work, of course! Our regular poster on the 26 th , Ruby Barnes, has very recently found this out to his cost. A combination of computer woes and travel plans have made it impossible for him to publish his regular post, so I’ve stepped in at the last minute. And, ironically enough, my replacement post will, after a fashion, concern technology. Two things have, of late, been taking up my meagre mental resources: firstly, the Authors Electric newsletter, of which I am the administrator; and secondly, my favourite festival, the fast-approaching Hallowe’en. I’m at that age where I should regard All Hallows’ Eve as a bit of fun for kids, but come this time of year I’m often to be found car...

Imagine that ebooks fall into four types, each of them with its own scent. 1) The first, of course, is the most common. And we may call it Stinky Pants: Stinky is generally spotted about the same time that he's smelled. The insufferable odor is one of perversely proud despair: 'I'm not very good at this so there's no point up in cleaning up in any unmentionable places: cover design, book description, editing, proofing, etc.  Some day, with a little work, I may become an amateur. Till then, support me, please, while I try to find time to learn how to write. This book's my first--be gentle, please. Just bend over and...inhale.' Moving onward, thank you! 2) The second, more tolerable scent could be labeled Knock-Off Spray. Like Walgreens' Instyle line of fragrances, these are knock-offs--or impressions--of authentic, best-selling colognes and perfumes. Just as the Walgreens versions smell, for several minutes, like the authentic brands, Discoun...

To celebrate the release of two new picture eBooks: The Perfect Christmas Tree ( UK download , US download ) and Where It's Always Winter ( UK download , US download ) between now and Christmas Eve I'll be giving away some of my other picture eBooks. So between 5th December and the 9th December Captain and Nugget  will be available for FREE: UK download - US download Then between the 10th December and the 14th December The Best Rabbit  (part of the Burdock the Rabbit series) will be available for download for FREE from the UK Amazon store and the US Amazon store . This is followed by Clever Rabbit (also part of the Burdock the Rabbit series) which will be FREE between 15th December and 19th December. To enjoy this book download from the UK Amazon site HERE  or the US Amazon site HERE . Finally the third in the Burdock the Rabbit series  The Abacus  will be available for FREE between the 20th December and the 24th December. U...

          The most cliched comment in the UK at present will almost certainly include the word 'ark', as we've had almost non-stop rain for about three months. As an introvert, I'm not the greatest fan of real summer, which, with its blue skies, sunshine etc, keeps pulling at me like an irritating child, but this greyness and endless rain is something else. However, it has made me concentrate on my latest publisher's brief - a challenge involving subverting some well-known and excellent texts. Work completed (or probably not - is it ever?) I really would like to sit in my garden (at present very soggy) and enjoy some sunshine.           My latest book - PRINCESS FROG - is just out, but I have yet to receive my author's free copies. Seeing and holding the actual book still feels like the culmination of the creative process, so what about ebooks where the words are everything and the material obj...