Authors Electric

Doug Mildew Mr Adams! Come in, Mr Adams! Rick! Ricardo! Or how about, “the Richmeister”! ’Cos that’s what this book is gonna make you, my friend. Y’know, rich? Ah. Okay. You get it. You writers never miss a trick. Ritchie, have a cigar. Or maybe you’d prefer a carrot? Ha ha, just kidding. No, the other box. Those ones are kind of… mine. What can I say? You came to my rescue. “Animal stories!” I hear the market scream. “Won’t someone give us animal stories?!” And then along hops you , with your wonderful, genius, delightful, um, piece of… ah, here it is – ‘Watership Down’. And what do I find? It’s just busting with rabbits at the seams! You know what you are, Mr Richard Adams? A saviour. An honest-to-mercy lucky rabbit’s foot saviour. Because kids love bunnies, don’t they? Boy, do they love the cute fluffy bunnies. And you’ve got floppy ears coming out your… ears. I’ve got just one or two comments. Firstly. It’s a teensy bit long. You know, for this reading age gr...

Doug Mildew Mr Blake! Come in, Mr Blake! Pull up a beanbag. Great to see you, William. Or Will.     Bill. Billy.    May I call you Billy? Doesn’t that just make you sound like a rock’n’roll star? Billy Bla–   Absolutely, Mr Blake, I understand. Just throwing it out there. What a sharp move to come and see me, Mr Blake. Your work? So exciting. That space thing you did, Blake’s Heaven, that was way ahead of its time. I wish more people would’ve taken notice.  Please, Willy, no false modesty! Your name’s on it, so be proud of it. Anyhoo, that’s in the past. You want to talk about your new children’s book, am I right? Let’s see. Songs Of Innocence And Of Experience . Well, I love it. We can work on the title later. But your rhymes! Love the rhymes.  Especially the animal ones. Almost as good as what’s-his-name, Raoul Dale. The kids, they love their animal rhymes.   The Lamb, The Tiger – don’t you worry, we have proo...

Doug Mildew Mr Dale! Come in, Mr Dale! Sit down, have a Scotch. Dahl. Sorry. Or Roly. May I call you Roly? No problem, Mr Dahl. Sometimes I try to say your first name and I get caught by a yawn, you know what I’m saying? But sit! Cigars to your left. What can I say? Your debut’s still rocking at the top of the paperback charts! James and the Giant Peach. What a concept! Where do you get your ideas? No, don’t tell me. Leave the lightning in the bottle. But the public, they love it. And I for one couldn’t wait to see what you’d write next. Before you say anything, Ronald, I do think the new book is great. Just great. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? That’s some title. Nice affiliation there, with the ‘chuh’s. And kids love chocolate, don’t they! Boy, do they love the chocolate. And some of us love charlie, too… but we won’t go there. What was I saying?  Oh yeah. The thing is, Rolf, I gotta tell you. James and the Giant Peach, it sold like Del Monte tinned peaches. It ...