Dear Santa... from Katherine Roberts

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Dear Santa,
This Christmas, I would like:

1. Full fibre broadband with a secure wired router, so I have the option of working at home without being radiated by wireless technology.

2. A train with a wi-fi shielded carriage (possibly combined with the quiet carriage?) so that I can read a paperback in comfort.

3. Orange street lighting so I can see the road in the dark on my commute. Failing that, a pair of those yellow night-driving glasses, which I don't seem able to buy now we have LED street-lighting and actually need them.

4. A local cafe with NO wi-fi (free or otherwise) and a "no smartphones" sign, where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and cake without getting indigestion from everyone else's devices.

5. An off-line friend who would enjoy a chat over coffee in the "no smartphone" cafe. (Can also be an online friend, of course, provided I get 1 as well).

6. An off-grid cottage for holidays so my body and brain can recover from all the wireless signals it is exposed to the rest of the year.

7. A pension at 60 (when I always thought I'd get it) so that I can retire to my off-grid cottage before I die of microwave poisoning from 5G.

Meanwhile, enjoy all your smart stuff* - just keep it away from me, please!

Happy Christmas
from Katherine

Award-winning author of fantasy and historical fiction for young readers, who seems to have developed an allergy to wi-fi and mobile phone signals above 0.1 V/m (i.e. not as sensitive as some people, but levels of this type of radiation are often much higher in towns and on wi-fi enabled trains.)

* For people who don't suffer from wi-fi allergy, and possess something smart to read it on, here's a solstice gift from me to you: one of the short stories that provided the inspiration for my award-winning debut novel Song Quest.
A Gift from the Merlee

You can find details of all my books, both electronic and paperback, on my website

Comments

Jan Needle said…
And a Merry Christmas, real and virtual, to you! You can get them night driving glasses on t'internet, I believe. I think high intensity headlights are the latest curse of the era. Do you think Boris would do something about it if I mentioned it to him? (That's my Yuletide joke, btw... Bah. Humbug.)
21 December 2019 at 09:28
Katherine Roberts said…
Thanks, Jan! Boris rides a bicycle, doesn't he? Meanwhile, I've discovered my ski goggles with the yellow fog lenses work quite well...
21 December 2019 at 14:07
Bill Kirton said…
I've never been a worrier. Until now. But thanks, Katherine, and happy yuletide and stuff.
21 December 2019 at 15:19
michelle lovric said…
Wishing you as happy a Christmas as possible and as wifi-less. lots of love, Michelle
23 December 2019 at 10:48
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