Resolutions or re-solutions - Lorraine Smith


 

Here we are three weeks into a brand new year. I have never been one for Resolutions. I am too fickle to keep them going. The sense of disappointment and self loathing which comes from failing at them is overwhelming. I just don’t do them.

I have decided to see what each new year brings. 2020 for me, started as normal. Then lockdown came and my autoimmune problem meant I was working from home. Once the decision was made, I was escorted out of the building clutching my briefcase, my desk calendar and my plant and warned that I would not be back in the foreseeable future. I felt like a kid let out of school early. I could work in my jammies, drink enough coffee to floor a horse,  pig out on chocolate and crisps,do my laundry if I wanted,  in short, be my own master.

 Then, new normal hit home and I rode the rollercoaster of emotions and problems which came along with that. I had not realised that I could be so vulnerable to a tiny organism that I had to stay closeted away, behind a barrier of disinfectant, face masks and people at a distant of two metres.

Ten months later I have adjusted to team meetings online and living vicariously through those lucky enough to get to go to work in the office.

Promises to write more, finish my novel, invest time in writing short stories,  or be more proactive came to nothing. Then I found myself coming to terms with the fact that my novel won’t finish itself. 

I am also riddled with self doubt and a horror of pushing myself forward. I want to enjoy success without marketing myself. I had to re-solve the old problem of procrastination. 

I joined an online class. It’s designed to get you writing from day one and marketing too.  I am now postinga√†√° on Facebook, one of my pet horrors. I  have completed my profile in other social media. I am taking control. 

The funny thing is it’s not too bad after all. Others in the class are doing it too. I’ve been writing down my plan. Resolving to finish my novel by December 2021. 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step. My step one is writing this blog post. 

Here’s to the next thousand miles.

Comments

Eden Baylee said…
Hi Lorraine,

Yes, the journey of a thousand miles ... congratulations on taking the first step. Great to connect to you here.

:D
eden
Kirsten Bett said…
Hi Lorraine, it's great to be with you in Wendy's group. I know what you mean about procrastination... Love how the class inspires and motivates but I still need to find a way to get writing into my life without having a deadline in two weeks...
Kirsten
Bill Kirton said…
Excellent news, Lorraine. Best wishes for the continuation of it all. Maybe taking that first independent decision was all that was needed (by which I mean not hitching yourself to the 'resolutions' tradition but actually taking individual control). I hope that first step proves to be the hardest. Good luck.
Peter Leyland said…
Great to see you starting on here Lorraine. I did a Guest Post in May last year and have never looked back. Well done!!!
Well done, Lorraine - it seems as if you're off to a good start.
I actually realised during lockdown that I liked being at home all the time but no longer enjoyed my day job so I decided to retire (it was way past time anyway!).
Reb MacRath said…
Good start, Lorraine. I'm sure you'll find that little steps soon start to acquire both mass and momentum. Keep us posted on your progress!
Lorraine Smith said…
Thank you for all your lovely comments and encouragement.
Wendy H. Jones said…
Brilliant post and I agree about procrastination. I seem to have a PhD in that topic.

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