I've met an agent! -- Sarah Nicholson

Don't get excited about the title, it's pure clickbait, I've not met an agent to discuss my work but rather I’ve just returned from a “meet the agent” event at the local uni. Although my friend did make me sit on the front row with her and it felt very up close and personal, there were probably a hundred other people sat behind us.

The talk was informative but the leaflet handed out was copied from the website and I’d done my homework and already looked up the agent and her agency.

Doing your homework and researching where to send a manuscript is just one of the pieces of advice she gave us.

In fact much of what she said I would consider common sense - maybe I’ve just heard it all before – write, edit, research, query.

Only I’ve never really got much further than the writing bit – at least as far as a longer piece of writing is concerned.

Perhaps I just get bored too quickly, or I expect to be miraculously found on blogger and offered a lucrative book deal, because honestly I am THAT amazing!

My latest challenge to myself is to write my memoir in flash pieces – one hundred pieces of writing each 100 words each!

I’m up to 77, I had hoped to have it all finished by the end of 2022, my ambitions for 2023 are grander.

I want to publish it.

Someone asked a question about finding an agent to take short stories – for all the publishing world is looking for THE NEXT BIG THING, basically they are still looking for authors who write novels or memoirs from an interesting point of view but probably not in the fashion I am writing.

“There’s a reason authors publish short stories later in their career…” she said.

We all interpreted that as when you are a rich and famous novelist you can successfully play around with other genre.

Flash is an even shorter version of the short story – my unique way to tell my story will likely be my undoing in a traditional publishing world. In fact, the 10,000 words I will write (not including titles for each piece) will barely be novella length.

A change of art form?

From other research I’ve done lately most writing competitions want to see the first 10,000 words with synopsis of up to 3,000!

Once upon a time I would have taken all this to heart, come home, stashed my writing in a draw to be forgotten, decided on a totally different medium altogether. Is sticking buttons on canvases a viable option for a mid-life career change?

I have never completed even half a full length novel, I’m not sure if I’m even capable of it, although I have a few bubbling ideas.

Deep down I believe I NEED to write this memoir in whatever form, possibly to unstick the other ideas that I can’t settle to writing. So far, this short narrative form is the one I’ve stuck to the longest.

Sometimes I think each piece should be more words, more detail, more explanation but then am I strolling into the realm of tell not show? Some 100 words do lead into the next and the more I write the more I am convinced this is the way to tell my story. Short and bittersweet, warts and all, grief and loss for the easily distracted, who to be honest don’t necessarily have the capacity to read a great long work of fiction.

Will it make me rich and famous – highly unlikely – whereas once this was THE goal, now I’m not sure if it’s even A goal.

A local speaking engagement or two would suit me, a word of encouragement from a someone I don’t know telling me my words resonated and helped them to be at ease with their own grief, just the simple pleasures.

The affirmation of friends becoming the compliments of stranger, I’d like the ripples to radiate just a fraction further than they already do.

So, was “meeting the agent” a waste of time? It’s given me something to write about today, always a positive when the deadline it looming.

It has also helped me realise that I have adjusted my expectations over the last few years. Today I sat in a lecture theatre with many other writers, most of them even studying creative writing, but didn’t feel intimidated or overwhelmed. 

I am still writing and not throwing it all in the bin – that’s when I realise just how much I have grown and I take that as a huge win.