Authors Electric

They say you've got to see it first before the real magic can happen. So I'm working hard at seeing the boy toy I'll become when I implement the latest of my Very Great Ideas. After starting with thousands of images, the field has been narrowed to these: Now, this was supposed to have happened when I landed a two-book hardcover contract with Tor/St. Martin's after a long apprenticeship. I'd come out of the gate too in champion form: winning a Stoker Award, collecting favorable reviews and appearing in Success magazine. But time certainly seemed to be taking its time in coming through with my reward. Most conversations ended fast when I told folks I worked in Horror. Those that didn't die then did when I confessed to not receiving million-buck advances. All this was grim. But it grew worse when my second agent landed me a contract for two  paperback  horror novels. Now any pretense of being a Serious Writer were gone. Segue to my years in the desert...

Success. For some, it’s a fact. For others, it’s a dream. For still others, it’s a stick used to beat people with. But what exactly does it mean? The idea behind this month’s post has been swilling around in my mind for a while now. While I was doing some research, I googled ‘self-published authors' success’. Not surprisingly, some of the top results were '10 Best Selling Self-Published Authors’ ,   ‘Bestseller Success Stories that Started Out as Self-Published Books’ ,  and ‘Writers Who Rocked Self-Publishing’ . Hardly surprising, either: these are all genuine success stories, which give the lie to the idea, still occasionally aired, that self-publishing is the last resort of talentless amateur scribblers. The problem is that it’s easy to crudely equate success with sales. I've done it myself. I've beaten myself up because my book didn't sell x number of copies in such-and-such a month. I've gazed with wistful envy at the authors climbing up t...

Imagine that ebooks fall into four types, each of them with its own scent. 1) The first, of course, is the most common. And we may call it Stinky Pants: Stinky is generally spotted about the same time that he's smelled. The insufferable odor is one of perversely proud despair: 'I'm not very good at this so there's no point up in cleaning up in any unmentionable places: cover design, book description, editing, proofing, etc.  Some day, with a little work, I may become an amateur. Till then, support me, please, while I try to find time to learn how to write. This book's my first--be gentle, please. Just bend over and...inhale.' Moving onward, thank you! 2) The second, more tolerable scent could be labeled Knock-Off Spray. Like Walgreens' Instyle line of fragrances, these are knock-offs--or impressions--of authentic, best-selling colognes and perfumes. Just as the Walgreens versions smell, for several minutes, like the authentic brands, Discoun...

Lawrence Sanders should be the patron saint of all older writers....and all younger writers who hope to hang around. He published his first book, The Anderson Tapes, in 1970--when he was fifty--and went on to publish 37 books before his death in 1998. And if you like humble beginnings: After working for Macy's, Sanders worked as an editorial writer and sold action stories on the side for $75 a pop. His hardcover advance for The Anderson Tapes was a lowly $3,000. But the humble origins took a rich turn when his agent sold the film rights for $100,000...then the paperback rights for twice that. And Sanders' advances continued to rise until he pulled in seven figures and owned two condos in Pompano Beach. Yes, a film sale can make a big difference. And it didn't hurt at all to have Sean Connery in the lead role or Sydney Lumet as the director. True, we can't all count on that kind of luck. But, luckily, The Colonel has left us with some lessons as enduri...

No doubt about it, blogging and social networking are inescapable and will be for a long time to come. But if you’re a writer, you need to know how it works and how you can make the most of it. So this is what happens. First, no need to write an actual novel. Just jot down a few paragraphs – enough to put extracts online now and again. You can probably get away with just a few pages. You’ll be telling the world you’re a writer and, with no evidence to the contrary, who’s going to contradict you? Just to be safe, though, prepare a few snippets of writerly wisdom. Mix and match them a bit because you want to tap into as many potential readerships as possible. Intellectuals are the easy ones. For them, just look up some huge words and juggle them into sentences. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what they mean; if they sound obscure enough no one will dare question them because that might suggest inadequacy on their part. Another easy target is the literary snob. To satisfy ...