Stuart Hill. Second Blog

I wanted to ask all my fellow writers out there if they’ve experienced a particular phenomenon closely linked with their written work. I’ll explain: A friend of mine who’s a published crime writer, has noticed that whenever she writes a novel in which she despatches a character in a particularly gruesome and graphic way, then very often an item will appear on the news reporting a murder that has very similar or even identical modus operandi. She even reached the point where she felt constrained in her work, feeling she was, in some weird way, having an effect on the criminal world and its activities. It should be pointed out, that this has always happened before the novel in question has been published, so there can be no copy-cat element at work.

I’ve noticed this odd synchronicity happening with my writing too, but on a slightly different level. In my fantasy novels, the Icemark Chronicles, I wrote about a cat called Primplepuss who belonged to King Redrought Athelstan Strong-in-the-Arm Lindenshield. Her chief characteristic was farting. She produced the most rancid fishy flatulence which just about floored everyone around her, and oddly, within months of writing about her, I’d acquired a cat with an identical problem. I must admit fishy cat farts were something I naively believed belonged in the realms of fantasy, but sadly I was to find this wasn’t the case. Many peaceful evenings were shattered by fearsome silent emissions that scorched nostril hairs and caused otherwise healthy lungs to wheeze and rattle. Some of the stronger outbursts even added an unpleasant coating to teeth. And just like Primplepuss, my cat Fairfax (named after my favourite Civil War General) sat in the eye of the fart storm he’d created in a state of Zen-like calm while the entire household scrambled retching for safety.

(Reading through the previous paragraph I realise I’ve made my Fantasy novels sound truly vile. In their defence I’d like to point out that they did win several awards, from a leading high street bookshop, amongst others, so they can’t be all that bad!)

Unfortunately Fairfax is no longer with us; his musical and pungent ring has fallen forever silent. But I now have two more cats named Jack, and, -rather sinisterly-, ‘Mr Mittens’. I might add I’m not responsible for their names, we got them from the RSPCA and they were already christened. But once again synchronicity has struck. I’m writing a prequel to the Icemark Chronicles at the moment, and there’s a cat character, named Cadwalader. In the novel he’s a warrior, fighting vampires and werewolves and generally allowing his author to have a great time. But Mr Mittens seems to have taken on this characteristic!

Despite being a small, neutered tom he’s taken to doing battle with a very large ‘intact’ tomcat who’s been terrorising the local moggy population for over a year now. This particular cat is a total bully that seems to work on the premise that if he can’t do what un-neutered toms normally do with their victims (and in this case I don’t think it involves much in the way of flowers, fine-dining and the recitation of poetry) , then he’ll beat them up. Well, Mr Mittens is having none of that, and several battles have been joined, all of which have been won by our small unassuming little runt. He’s even taken to chasing the bully back to his own garden and practicing all out war there. I might add he returns from each clash completely unmarked, with his tail up and chirping a happy greeting. Because of his fighting prowess he’s now known as Mr Genghis Mittens.

Jack, our other cat, in the meantime has also recently succumbed to synchronicity and he too has now joined the ranks of the fabled cat farters. But being a true artist, he’s added his own personal interpretation to the craft and there’s less fish and more something-dead-in-the-cellar sort of odour to his productions. So far his proudest moment has been sending my partner’s parents gagging in the desperate search for fresh air and safety.

I have to say I’m really rather proud.

P.S. My first ebook was published just a couple of weeks ago and is a collection of ghost stories called ‘Tales From Moonshiny Hall’. I’m just waiting to see if synchronicity strikes again and I end up with the most haunted house in the Lost City of Leicester.

P.P.S. Those who read my first blog last month will have been left in no doubt about my computing abilities I.E. I have none. I spent most of the blog explaining why I have no website, blog site (is that the term?) or twitter account (again, is that the correct terminology?). But I’ve just remembered that I do actually have a website! It was set up by a friend who took pity on my computer illiteracy, and has nothing to do with my writing. As well as being an author, I’m also an artist and the site shows examples of my work. Anyone interested enough to have a look can find it on: www.wix.com/stuartrhill/art . Don’t forget the all-important ‘r’ between stuart and hill otherwise it won’t work.

The site’s become a bit slow for some reason that is quite beyond my limited technical knowledge to explain, but if you’re prepared to wait for a short while it will open. I think my friend has done a lovely job; I can’t comment on the art.

Anyway, I’d better go, I’ve probably bored you all enough. See you in a month.