Friday, 6 January 2012

Twelve Days of Wishful Thinking - Debbie Bennett

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my fairy-godmother gave to me:
  • 12 drummers drumming - they're always the best looking guys in the rock band, aren't they? A bit noisy if they're all drumming at the same time, though.
  • 11 pipers. Really not sure what I'm going to do with them yet, and I don't think the neighbours will appreciate them practising. Especially with the drummers.
  • 10 lauds, praise and glory from people who love my books. Amazon reviews will do nicely, thank you. Or smashwords. Perhaps The Times literary supplement is aiming a bit high?
  • 9 ladies to appear on Loose Women, Oprah and any other chat shows and discuss my books. My own personal book club. If they want to dance, that's fine by me.
  • 8 maids to clean my house and wash my clothes so that I don't have to bother with housework and can concentrate on writing. Actually, one of them can pretend to be me and do my day job.
  • 7 swans-a-swimming on the lake in the grounds of the Jacobean mansion I'll be buying when the 4 Hollywood moguls sign me up.
  • 6 geese. One for a late Christmas dinner and the other five I'll get the 9 ladies to cook and take up to the local old folk's home. The 11 pipers can go too and perform some carols while the 8 maids sing (when they've finished the housework).
  • 5 gold rings - tickets for the olympics in London so I can take my daughter to see the gymnastics. Or just five gold rings. Or any gold will do. I don't want to be fussy.
  • 4 calling cards from Hollywood moguls who want to offer me film options. Actually, Pinewood will do - I wasn't that impressed with LA on the short visit I made a couple of years ago.
  • 3 french ebook sales because I've not yet had a single sale on
  • 2 turtle-neck sweaters from the relations who always buy you the same things every year for Christmas. But they'll be welcome if it's as cold as last winter was. And some mittens for typing on a frozen keyboard.
  • And a partridge ... no, forget the partridge, as I don't want to eat one and I'm not green-fingered enough to keep a pear-tree alive. How about number 1 in the best-sellers list instead? That would be the best Christmas present ever!

Pass the wine. I hope 2012 brings you all you desire!

Adult crime/thriller


Dan Holloway said...


12 drummers drumming - you were watching Strictly, then :)

And I would prefer to think of pipers as the people who do the icing work on top of cakes!

Debbie said...

Actually, no. My guilty secret is X-factor, I'm afraid....

As for pipers - now *this* is my idea of cake icing:

If blogger will let you jump to a facebook piccie - this was my daughter's 8th birthday cake

Kathleen Jones said...

Thank you Debbie - I laughed and laughed - brilliant!
Happy 12th Night to you too and all the sales and hollywood contracts you could possibly desire!

Susan Price said...

And your blog looks beautiful!

Debbie said...

Thank you both!

Jennie Walters said...

Love this, Debbie! We can but dream....

Dan Holloway said...

Ah, then you missed Harry the drummer flashing his pecs on a weekly basis!

Katherine Roberts said...

Made me smile! The maids would be very useful for a writer whose housework is usually put on hold until the draft is done... and can any of those drummers mend fences?

Love the festive picture.

Debbie said...

@Dan - I used to date a drummer when I was 17!