|Put it away you bad boy!|
|'We like a good time as much as anybody.' 'Hester! you said b-o-d-y!'|
|'Oi! I can see that horse's ankles! Disgusting!'|
There is an obvious religious slant to this, and Joanne ‘Chocolat’ Harris and others have led a furious charge against the app for changing the works of authors who chose to use those words in their creative process for good reasons. Several writers tried CR out and blogged about it. Clean Reader’s creators claim it’s legal because it doesn’t actually change the words, just hides them. Hm. It’s been argued that it is illegal especially in the UK because it violates the Moral Right of the author. You may not realise we have moral rights or even lefts, but it’s that thing you see on copyright pages.
All the words for vagina are replaced with ‘bottom’. Not even ‘front bottom’ or ‘lady garden’! Thus all sex in C-lit (What's wrong? It’s short for CleanReader Literature) is anal sex. God help children (one of the demographics they are aiming at) who read about babies coming from people’s bottoms.
|It's all about bottoms in Clean World, folks.|
‘Penis’ becomes ‘groin’. Thus any bodice ripper with ‘He had an enormous hard groin’ now sounds like a medical textbook – rapture turned to rupture.
|Something for your hero's big, hard, hot, throbbing... groin.|
‘Boobs’ and ‘breasts’ become ‘chest’. Yes folks, ‘breasts’ is too rude for these people! ‘A firm, shapely pair of chest’ – hmm. What could go wrong? Well this for a start. The word ‘bitch’ is replaced by ‘witch’. At a stroke, James Herriot’s Veterinary reminiscences become satanic fantasy novels! Oh my god!
|A witch with her babies. Magic!|
|'You're having way too much fun with that fork, Henry!'|
So anyway, the CR creators are now licking their wounds (I doubt they’d allow themselves to lick anything else) and enough people have tweeted their gratitude at having the terrifying power of simple words defused before their delicate eyeballs see it, to suggest they’ll be back. So what do you all think? Is it ok to change a book you’ve bought – it’s yours after all. If you can draw moustaches on illustrations or make shopping lists in the margins of a paperback novel, if you can change the font and size on an ereader, why not this? Where exactly does the right, moral or immoral, of the author and the right of the reader/buyer, coincide or clash? Is one of them the other one’s bitch, I mean witch? This is all part of the new technology of ebooks, one of many issues to arise.
|Another treat for cock fans. It's a big one!|
Visit my website valerielaws.com for more disgraceful books, plays, art installations, and performances. Blindfolds provided for those of sensitive disposition.
Some of my thirteen books are now on Kindle UK US, iBooks UK US, Kobo, Nook and more, on all platforms worldwide.