William McIlvanney by John A. A. Logan
Last
Saturday, the Scottish novelist, William McIlvanney, passed away.
22
years ago, at Aberdeen University, he was the first, and the only, creative
writing teacher I ever had.
For six weeks in the spring of 1993, 15 of us would gather in a room, for two hours,
twice a week, on the Monday and Thursday, and you’d never know what to expect
in that room next.
I
don’t think we were really conscious of him teaching us, he sort of let us get
on with things, didn’t tell us, above all, what to think. He did tell us that
we should consider our group a “subversive unit within the English department”.
One
day he told us that every one of us had something inside us, in our past,
something terrible that had happened, which perhaps we had never told anyone
about, or ever written about.
When
he checked with us that we did indeed have something like this, only one guy in
the room put up his hand to say no, he had nothing of that kind in his past, or
his self.
Then
Mr McIlvanney (who insisted we call him Willie, or Wullie) asked us to write
something about this thing hidden within us, and to hand it in the following
week.
I
knew the moment he said this in the room that I would be writing about my
brother, who had drowned when he was eight, and about what happened to myself,
and my family, after my brother’s death.
A
fortnight later, I found myself sitting alone in a room with Mr McIlvanney.
Between
us on the table were the sheets of paper on which I had written, in poem form,
about my brother.
“Did
this really happen?” he said.
“Yes,”
I said.
He
held his temples between his fingers and looked down at the pages of paper, for
several seconds. Finally, he breathed in, and sighed out air.
“You’ll
write about this again,” he said.
His
voice was so low it really was uncannily like being spoken to by a lion.
He
was right. Six years later, the subject matter of that poem formed the heart of
what became my first novel.
On
another day, he asked us all to write a short story.
I
had been writing for four years but I only wrote poems. I didn’t know how to
write a short story. I had been president of the university’s creative writing
society for two years but I had never written a short story. I didn’t know how
to do it. I really didn’t want to even try to do it. I thought something
important inside me might subtly change if I did try to do it.
But
now I had to do it. He’d told us to do it. And I found I greatly enjoyed it.
After writing that story, I never wrote another poem, but wrote only short
stories for the next six years, until I started to write novels.
Isn’t
that almost an incalculable level of influence for one human being to have on
the future activities and behaviour of another human being?
He
could see I was very thin and that my clothes were falling apart a bit. He took
me into a café and told me to order anything at all that I wanted to eat, that
it was on him, not to worry.
He
could see I was very tense, so as he talked to me he put his hand on my
shoulder and kept it there a long time.
He
could tell I lacked confidence, so he told me that it was impossible to ever
know, at the time, what seeds were perhaps being planted that might later flourish.
He mentioned as an example of this the Glaswegian working-class novelist, Jeff
Torrington, whose novel, Swing Hammer Swing, had taken 30 years to write, with
Torrington being 57 before the novel was published and became Whitbread Book of
the Year in 1992.
I
asked him if he was working on anything new, and he told me that he was working
on four things, at home, and that he didn’t yet know which of these would “take
him away with it” and become the next book…and that seemed strange to me, that
it would not be him deciding which thing would become the next book, but some
deeper internal part of himself that, of its own volition almost, would be
making the decision…something mysterious, beyond talking about or answering
about…
The
conversations with him ended, the classes ended, the course ended.
Or
I had thought it had ended, back then, 22 years ago, until last Saturday, when
I heard the news that Mr McIlvanney had passed away, and I then began to
remember everything he had ever said to me, every seed that had really been
planted, and now I am not sure that I have not been following the course of
that deep influence ever since.
William McIlvanney
Comments
Your tribute, to this wonderful man and teacher, is beautiful.
You are also a wonderful, unofficial, teacher. It's nice to know where some of your influence comes from. I wonder if you've ever considered teaching creative writing.
Thanks for adding such a precious, intimate portrait of him to give even more substance to the many tributes that have appeared everywhere.