Birthday Fun ~ Maressa Mortimer

It was my younger daughter’s birthday this week. She turned eleven and was beyond excited. What fun, you probably think. Well, it was but only marginally so. Miss E was the first to actually get excited about something ahead of the day. It was for her fourth birthday, I think, that I tucked her in and she wriggled in her little bed. “I’m so excited about my birthday tomorrow; I don’t think I can sleep!”

I just stared in shock. For years we had had no anticipation, no excitement for birthdays or Christmas. Holidays were way too stressful to cause excitement for anyone but me. We never had the ridiculous o’clock wake-ups by bouncing kids announcing their birthday had arrived. Of course, we had happy faces once presents were found, although that brought a different kind of stress.

We had thrilled-looking faces when the cake was handed out although singing happy birthday was incredibly traumatic and accompanied by utter terror from one of the children. Now, nine years later he actually sings, just, and pulls a dour face. But here was little miss E, nearly four, announcing her excitement, ahead of the day!

I was so happy, although the quiet morning had been lovely, it also felt wrong. Now Miss E is eleven and the day before her birthday she was filled with wriggles and bounces. She has an especially excited wriggle which makes me laugh. The youngest was pleased as well and they were comparing excitement about events. Their own birthdays topped the list, then Christmas and the other family member’s birthdays.

My two older ones stayed quiet. I think some traumas go deeper than others, and birthdays top the list. Along with packed bags. We now get birthday lists ahead of the birthday, which is an improvement, and my older one spends a lot of time making wonderful cards for her siblings as a sweet gift. So anticipation is there, it has arrived.

When I read books where characters have been through something traumatic, I think of my kids and roll my eyes. A week after the trauma, the victim is happy as Larry, only occasionally tearing up and dabbing at the corners of her eyes when remembering the awful event.

Maybe it’s because we want to write to put things right, so we heal our characters quickly. I mean, to draw out the trauma for nine years would sound rather tedious, I suppose. I feel so relieved when I read authentic characters though. Ones that have to work hard at overcoming trauma, who remain afraid most of their lives even though they have now got coping mechanisms. My son now sings happy birthday because he knows it is followed by cake, and we prime him. A group of people in a restaurant suddenly piping up still causes quite a reaction...

Anyway, what are your best recommendations for books with well-written trauma survivors or other characters that were drawn up well?