How do you wait? -- Amanda Bedzrah

I’m in a delicate place. My new novel is finished, professionally edited, proofread and ready to be published. Yet, I’m undecided which route to go in terms of publishing (self or hybrid) so I’m in a season of waiting. 

I don’t like this place so much, I don’t do well in silence. I’m not a very patient person when it comes to achieving my goals. It feels like I’m staring at a new baby that I want to bathe, dress up in cute outfits and show the world how beautiful she is, but I’m not allowed to touch her, she's not quite ready yet - It’s frustrating. Can anyone relate?

I hear it can take many weeks and sometimes months to hear back from an agent or a publishing house and beyond that, several months or even years before the book is actually published. The thought makes me break out in a sweat. Literally!

I’ve self published all the books, devotionals and journals I’ve written to date. I find the process exciting and over the years some what easy that I have started to help other new authors self publish. I enjoy the whole process from designing the cover to printing luxury limited edition copies. My last novel had silk pages and the cover was lavished with velvet. It was so beautiful to touch and look at, the limited edition copies sold out in weeks before it went on Amazon.

I wonder, what is the real benefit of traditional/hybrid publishing? I've read about the differences and heard a few stories too but I’m keen to experience it myself which is why I’m choosing to try it, instead of publishing it myself, yet some days, when the impatience starts to strangle me, I really question my decision.

I hear there’s a certain credibility that comes with using a hybrid publisher, there is also the opportunity for your book to be more widely distributed and even entered into book awards. BUT..... there’s the opportunity to make less money, you still have to do the bulk of the marketing and the usual contracts will come with a requirement to buy a huge amount of books that you need to sell yourself.

I truly want to try something different, in my writing career, I want to experience the art of being published but it feels like the whole process is killing me softly. I hope this is a place I can be honest and share my frustrations in the hope that someone out there might be reading this and it makes them grateful that they are not alone in the weariness of waiting.

This novel has been many years in the making, there have been many long nights of research, many early mornings of prayers and many long days of writing and sleepless nights too and now that it’s finally finished it feels like it’s still not finished. I feel unsettled. I feel in an unfamiliar place, I’ve never been here before and it’s scary. I know that closure will come when I can hold my baby in my hand, touch the pages and place it on the bookshelf.

I keep telling myself, "Amanda be patient", trust the process and wait. Just wait. But I’d very much like some words of encouragement and advice from you readers and fellow writers - what do you do while you wait? Honest question, how do you wait?

I feel like a mother with an incubated child. I keep praying and checking in on it but that’s not helping me much, the checking in bit I mean, the prayers are definitely keep me sane.

I’ve decided to distract myself, to find other things to keep me busy while I wait, I may even write a novella while I'm at it or focus on marketing my old novel. Patience is a virtue comes to mind. The benefit will outweigh the pain I hope.

*Images above from shutterstock online

Amanda Bedzrah is wife and mum to three children. She is an Author, Speaker, Bible Teacher, Prayer Minister and Senior NHS Professional.

Amanda enjoys travelling, studying the Bible and Smiling.

www.amandabedzrah.com