Full of Resolution - Debbie Bennett
So it's January and I’m supposed to be full
of resolutions and renewed energy, taking stock of the past 12 months and
gearing up for the next.
Well, I’m not. Not really. Stock-taking,
maybe. 2017 was an eventful year in many ways – I started Slimming World in
mid-January, and nine months later I’d lost 3 stone and 2-3 dress sizes,
gaining an entire new wardrobe, a new fitness regime and muscles I didn’t know
I had in the process. All good. On the writing front though, it’s been very different.
2017 seemed to be a turning point for
many of my writer friends. There are a number of us who’ve walked this indie
journey together over the past seven or eight years; we’ve stumbled on the path,
supported each other and celebrated with each other. But many of us have become
jaded along the way, frustrated with the endless hurdles and constant pressure
under which we put ourselves. Sales are way, way down for me – and I suspect I’m
not alone in this as several of my writer friends have made deliberate steps
out of the fast lane and said they will continue to write for pleasure only.
Some of us are stepping back, re-engaging with family and friends, enjoying
hobbies we’d put to one side in the frenzy to publish and sell, sell, sell.
But it’s not all been doom and gloom. I’ve
been lucky enough to be part of a Dr Who spin-off DVD, acquired an IMDb
script-writing credit and done book signings in Waterstones and independent
book shops. It’s been a glimpse into a different world and I’ve been grateful
for that opportunity. And while the community radio play project I invested
several years in has folded, it’s opened other doors and I’m enjoying exploring
new script opportunities with a small close-knit group of local writers. And I’ve
published my first audio book too – all new directions.
But novel writing? I don’t know right
now. I’ve just subbed a short story to an anthology. I don’t write many short
stories at all, but this was fun to do and it’s done, finished and over. There’s
a satisfaction in that. Maybe shorts are the way to go this year, to keep my
energy, my stamina for other projects? But to do that means I have to
consciously let go and step off the indie merry-go-round – and once I do that,
I risk it spinning away too far and too fast, and I’m left behind in the
playground.
Maybe it’s an age thing? I hit
menopause in 2017 and that’s very much a time for reflection, for reassessing
priorities. Andy’s looking at early retirement and my daughter is on the verge
of leaving university and making her own way in the world. We’re thinking of selling the house and downsizing, freeing equity for new adventures.
2017 has in
many ways felt like I’m treading water, marking time. 2018 will be the time to
move forwards again. Who knows where I’ll be by this time next year?
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